i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
