I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize