oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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