the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
