I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
