she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I need to calm my uterus...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
