someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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