Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize