so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
