I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
