I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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