You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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