Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
