This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
