I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize