hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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