I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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