sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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