I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
