There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
