i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
