also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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