You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
