Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
