so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize