you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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