so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
