You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
