do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize