Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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