Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Pants are for mortals
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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