Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
