I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
