I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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