Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
