Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
