My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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