It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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