i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Shitshow foam night was such a success
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize