you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
