i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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