apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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