He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
