Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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