we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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