Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
