We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
