I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
