Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
