well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
