feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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