I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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