i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
