I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
