At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize