There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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