she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
