All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
