i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
