New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
