Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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