Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wish you could order shots online.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
