'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize