DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize