I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
