When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
