I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
