Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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