bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
