I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
