so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
