I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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