I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
