he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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