I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
