Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize