He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
